Touched tangentially

Touched tangentially

Even if you are by nature not a scandalous person, sometimes tempted to get into someone's skirmish. But is it worth doing it? Попробуем разобраться.

filial duty


When you are quarreling parents. Dad something accuses mom, Mama – dad, and everyone wants, you to understand exactly his position, and took up his cause: “Daughter, Well, unless I'm wrong, agree?” – “native, no one, except you, I will not support!”

As for? – Да

Parental quarrels concern you directly. Firstly, it is close to you people, во-вторых, your peace of mind and a sense of personal well-being is hurt, if they are in a state of war. But before we intervene, Think: why do they meddle with you? Может, each of them just need a witness to his innocence or both of them do not have enough attention and support adult daughter and thus they attract your attention?


Depending on the reasons, that drive parents, There are three ways to solve CQrTHOcSr1cпроблемы. Suggest to themselves to resolve the conflict, you did you come to visit them a second time. Suggest all together for tea, and then to peacefully deal, what happened. Get out during an argument, but then talk to each one individually, explained, how you are going through their relationship. Главное, not to get in anyone's way and especially not to blame in response (“I, too, have something to say: you, dad, is always… and you, Mama…”). So the quarrel breaks out even brighter.

maiden tears


Your friend starts to quarrel with her boyfriend. Recriminations end her tears and complaints, что “he always does (He speaks, makes)” and in general it is most unfortunate. Впрочем, her boyfriend also does not look happy. Do I have you to interfere with their relationship (visits scandal your eyes and even part of the statements were addressed to you: “And you know, he then said?”) or better to allow the pair to find out the relationship in private?

As for? - Not, but…


Whatever is uttered in the hearts of lovers, you are not affected and does not require your intervention! С другой стороны, watch quarrel, pretending, that everything that happens in the order of things, also wrong.92551556_Couple_Arguing_blond_woman_1_So you can ask: “You called me, to understand their relationship with witnesses?” Specified cheerful tone, this issue to defuse the situation and remind squabbling, that they are not alone. A phrase “Friends, I leave you until, call, when the storm has passed” will you go, not getting involved in someone else's quarrel. Also, you can express support for distressed girlfriend. Конечно, we are not talking about, to attack it with a loved one. Get her into the other room, where it will be able to speak out and cry. Sometimes, to end the conflict, enough to soothe one of the participants. But she maintain neutrality! All, that is required from you at this time, it's a bit of patience and compassion. Loving couple soon reconciled! But if you're in the conflict expressed support for one of the parties, your opponent will not soon forget your “betrayal”, which has a negative impact on your future communication.

Work moment


There was a conflict at work: your two colleagues decided to find out, who's really running, and who plays a preference on the computer, While his work is done by others. Letter for letter…

As for? - Not!


QzgxTMF-5Y4All of us at work trying to restrain emotions and suppress discontent, therefore it is necessary to inflame the quarrel, as it turns out, and that you have something to add “of sore”. Например: “Кстати, I went yesterday to the site instead!” или “we were assigned, two of the project, but I did everything alone…” But to intervene after all it is not necessary to colleagues quarrel. No conflict at work with your participation will not benefit your career.

In the thick of things


Witnessed conflict and you can be in a public place. Скажем, в магазине. The customer decided to hand over boots, and the seller claims, that the term, in which you can return the item, expired yesterday. Девушка, естественно, outraged and calls for help store visitors: “This mess! I am a regular customer here, but after such a relationship is unlikely they will stay… But your, what opinion: who is right?”

As for? - Not, but…


The conflict, that do not concern – в магазине, transport, clinic, We need to intervene only in one case: if you are sure, that could help the conflicting. Скажем, legal education allows you to convincingly explain to shoppers, whether delayed day deciding to return to the store the goods, which did not fit. You have every right and call the police, if witnessed street scandal, passed into the fray. But to enter into bus, market or any other public altercation, exploding as a result of a large gathering of people in one place, – thankless. It would be desirable to restore justice and to call to order the rowdy, stop. If you are full of sympathy for the victim, express it personally, tete-a-tete. Moreover, sociologists say, that the conflict, arose in a public place, pretty quickly subsides, if it does not add participants.

Третий – excess


Happens, that your favorite is in the midst of warfare. Скажем, at the bar after a couple of glasses of spirits unnecessary misunderstanding arose with another customer. Or on the highway, Muzzy drivers of traffic jams, suddenly decide to set the record straight “i”, passing figuring, someone who had to miss and do not undercut.

As for? – Нет


Да, in the skirmish involved a person close to you, but you should not interfere! Time 0_72e12_81a82ced_XLYou could not keep him from talking in a raised voice, and even from a fight (this happens even brought up young men), it is not necessary to shout insults in unison with loved ones and throw the offender. Men will soon release steam, come to a compromise and forget the quarrel, but your lack of restraint and hysteria will be remembered for a long time.

It is not necessary to help the young person and “find out” the waiter, how true it is made by and where it appeared unnecessary items. It is not a matter of stinginess. So it shows the responsibility and the ability to protect their (in this case, money) interests. Be patient and do not interfere. Let him to solve the problem. В конце концов, he's a man and taking care of yourself and you – his direct duty!

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  1. And we never at her daughter did not swear. Even if I do not like something, I say nothing, and choose the time to talk, when there is no daughter. Children, like a sponge and absorb all very experienced quarrel roditeley.Ya can remember little, when parents swore I was locked in her room and cried. I did not even know then what they swore. I just remember, Mom was crying and so I always felt guilty about dad. Sometimes even so, Mom and Dad have reconciled, I still long can not forgive the Pope. In general, it is very useful during the silent. Бывает, while I wait for the right moment to talk, I already had to rethink everything in my head, such as if it is not necessary at all to raise a storm in a glass.

  2. That's for sure. It is not necessary rashly venturing conversation. Checked!

  3. And I remember one random lifetime. Even then I was a little girl. We're with Mom and Dad went to the movies and just near the cinema saw a man beating a woman. Moreover, quite brutally. They have me so far in the eyes of the stand. One can see I was very scared. Dad, of course, I rushed to separate. He freed the woman and twisted and pinned to the earth man. He resisted and, естественно, Pope applied there any tricks that, He twisted his hands. But the interesting thing happened then. When the police arrived. Deliberately looking spectators sharply diminished. This woman has rushed to defend her husband. As a result, both, and the Pope, and the man busted and taken. My mother and I went to the trail. We have a small village, office was near. They are there for a long time to write some explanations. Then they were both released. In the movie, we, of course, We have not got. And dad, I remember, He said – what would I have ever got, when a husband beats his wife. Yes let though will kill! with hot, certainly told. But with age, I realized, that his words, generally, was the point.

  4. Да, unfortunately, Maria, Such cases are not isolated.

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